Everything I've tested.

Premium, cohesive Genshin Impact packaging and theme with 160W charging, though the back design is only so-so.

An insane piece of equipment that would have been a dream gift 15 years ago.

Good passive noise cancellation and sparkly highs, but lacking deep bass.

A more accessible limited edition whose red colour looks better than the default, though not a true collab.

Great finish and metal middle frame with a built-in fan, but over-sharpened wallpapers and cluttered icons feel cheap.

Standard black pair bundled free with the S23 Ultra exclusive, worth about $150.

They sound like normal AirPods, which is good, but not worth $3,000.

Brilliant Harry Potter presentation with genuinely improved specs, and worth the effort of importing from China.

Thorough, outlandish packaging, but the phone itself is just plain black and hard to justify at $3,000.

Ordinary flagship made interesting by the Xperia Stream fan, ethernet and HDMI case, though how useful it is remains questionable.

Absurdly over-the-top gold, titanium and gun-themed luxury iPhone that is the most detailed and frightening phone he has held.

Crisp, upbeat sound with lovely attention to detail, though slightly lacking bass; rated 8 out of 10 for the price.

His favourite core phone design so far, with a smooth rounded body and clever photochromic glass.

He was surprised that a frying pan and egg case exists.

A very realistic camera-shaped case that he was surprised someone put so much effort into.

A pig-shaped case with a TV sticking out of it, which he found amusing.

He calls the trainer case the most useless one he has seen, as it neither charges nor protects the AirPods.

A huge Patrick-shaped case where you take off his head and pecs to fit the AirPods.

It fits well, but the huge chain would make you a target for thieves.

The wheels and handle work, but he finds it impractical.

Glasses for reading lying down, which left him seeing only his feet.

Not bad, but he would not want to be seen wearing them.

A brightly coloured sweet that tastes sweet and then of garlic and cheese.

Underpants for your hands that don't fit properly, with his thumb poking out of the big hole.