Everything I've tested.

A chauffeur-driven luxury car with a sofa-like cabin and satisfying levers, and a moderate sales success.

A calm, quiet S-Class with all-LED lights, hot stone massage seats and lane-centring steering, though hot with the AC off.

A camouflaged, unannounced facelift S-Class that he was allowed to show for the first time but not reveal in detail.

A quiet-luxury S-Class with Keyless Go and pre-emptive safety, but cheaper-feeling inside and floaty to drive.

A microchip-filled, insanely over-engineered S-Class that was silent to drive and more advanced than many modern cars.

An extravagant autonomous concept with a bendable 65-inch TV, seven projectors and 42 speakers that impressed him with its media quality.

The first car ever made was a commercial flop, but he found it thrilling to drive at 16 km/h.

The year of driver assists, with a luxurious interior that made the S-Class finally feel like itself.

A more aerodynamic, lighter and cheaper Mercedes that brought luxury to the middle class, with brilliant button feel.

An efficiency-focused S-Class that introduced CAD design and the airbag, packed with surprisingly advanced features.

The first S-Class combined speed and safety, with ABS, air suspension and a huge V8, and he could see its appeal.

A fun, distinctive flip phone that is basically a flagship S24 Plus that folds, and a sensible choice if you like the idea of a folding pho…

The squared-off design looks odd to him, but it is the most impressed he has been by a Galaxy Watch thanks to real upgrades and useful heal…

Essentially last year's Flip 6 with weaker parts, and the $200 saving is not enough to justify it.

He calls the new software features extremely minor on the Fold 7, with Gemini screen sharing the best addition.

Same as the Watch 8 in a heavier metal case, with a rotating bezel he finds addictively satisfying.

A very minor update that makes little sense now that the Watch 8 and 8 Classic have improved so much.

A distinctive, good-value $349 phone with a great screen and clean software, though the Glyph features lack depth and the cameras are only…

Closer to the Edge in features and might be the better phone for non-techy buyers than the Ultra.

Best at citing sources but often wrong or confused, including fabricating a price, finishing last on 19 points.

Strong on Workspace integration, voice and Veo 3 video, but slowest, prone to inventing products and wordy in deep research, finishing thir…

A surprise second place on 29-point-chasing form: the fastest and decent at product research and humour, but erratic on charts and voice qu…

The $200 level four water gun can charge a shot and knocked over a lot of cans, which he called insane.

The $150 military-used case protected the screen better in the first test, but the phone still showed a big mark and a ballooning screen af…